iBecome A Shay OR iGet Married In Vegas
by Vivian Darkbloom 1995
Summary: I couldn't decide on the final title, so I'm using both. After having a fight with her mom, Sam decides she wants to become part of the Shay family—officially. SPAM (mainly friendship). Rated "T" for brief language and themes.


Samantha "Sam" Puckett slams the door to her house, ignoring her mom yelling after her. Sam hitches her backpack over her shoulder and hails a taxi. She slides into the backseat. "Bushwell Plaza," she tells the cabbie.

******SPAM**

Spencer Shay is watching TV when the apartment buzzer rings. He presses the talk button on the intercom. "Hello?"

"Spence, it's me," Sam says. "The door's locked, Lewbert's passed out in cheese pizza, and I need a place to crash tonight."

"Carly's not here," Spencer says. "Sam, it's two a.m. What's wrong with your place?"

"My mom and I had a fight," Sam says, and Spencer is surprised to hear a quaver in her voice. "Please let me in."

"Okay, kiddo." He presses a button; the apartment door opens. Sam takes the Shays' elevator to the eighth floor so she doesn't have to knock on the door.

"Are you alright?" Spencer asks, grabbing Sam's backpack.

"I guess. Same old shit with my mom, though. Tired of dealing with it." Sam flings herself on the couch.

"I'll get you something to eat." Spencer takes out a slice of pizza with bacon and ham on it, grabs a can of Coke, and sets them on the kitchen table. Sam goes into the kitchen and sits down.

"Thanks." Sam sighs. "Things suck between my mom and I. We're always fighting."

"I thought things got better after Carly dragged you two to therapy?"

"Then they turned sucky again. God, I hate my family."

"C'mon. The Pucketts are great," Spencer says. "Annie, Greg, and Tanya. They're...interesting."

Sam snorts. "Insane, you mean. And yeah, I do love them, but sometimes I wish I didn't have a dysfunctional family. Sometimes I wish I had a family like yours."

"A dad who's always away? A mom who divorced my dad and doesn't maintain contact with Carly and I?"

"No, a family with people who are always there for each other," Sam says wistfully. "The only caring thing my mom ever did for me was post bail."

"That's...kinda sweet."

"Sometimes I go visit my cousins in jail, but I never enjoy it. Visiting them in jail is an obligation; I only do it because I feel like I have to."

"I never knew you felt that way," Spencer says quietly. "You always seem happy when talking about your relatives."

"No-one knows," Sam says. "Not even Carly. I want to be a Shay."

"Then move in." Spencer shrugs. "You can sleep in Carly's room. You can live here; you spend all your time here anyway."

"I'm under eighteen," Sam points out. "If authorities found out, they'd just force me to go back to Mom."

"I have another idea," Spencer says. "It's slightly crazy, but it would get you away from your mom. Permanently."

"I'm all ears."

"What if you and I got married in Las Vegas? If we got married, you wouldn't be forced to return to your mom even though you're a minor."

"Married?" Sam stares. "Puckett marriages don't last."

"No, we'd only be married so you could live here. You'd be free to date other people, and so would I. We can look up the requirements on the Internet if you're interested."

"Okay!" Sam smiles. "Let's do it."

** SPAM**

Carly gets back from Freddie's the next day around 3:30. Spencer and Sam tell her what they're going to do.

"We'll be sisters!" Carly squeals, delighted. "Spence, you sure Dad would be okay with you marrying a sixteen-year-old?"

"Well, I'll tell him that we're only marrying so Sam can get away from her mom. Anyway, if I made a move on her, I'm sure Sam would bust my ass."

"You got that right, baby," Sam smirks.

"Sam's mom needs to give permission," Carly says thoughtfully. "She probably won't."

"Eh, she's always wanted to get rid of me."

** SPAM**

At 4:30, Sam takes a bus to her house. Pamela "Pam" Puckett is parading around the house in a hideous bikini. "Sams!" she says, obviously shocked to see her daughter. And obviously drunk.

"Hi, Mom." Sam can smell the alcohol on her mom's breath. "Mom, I want to get married in Las Vegas."

"Married? Who the fuck is gonna marry you?" Pam belches. "Whoo!" She giggles cutely.

_No wonder Dad ran away from this woman,_ Sam thinks. "Spencer Shay."

"Carly's brother? You're marrying Carly's brother? I thought you and Carly were a couple?"

"Mom. I'm not a lesbian. Neither is Carly. If I marry Spencer, I'm out of your hair." Sam sighs. "It's a win-win situation. You don't seem to like me; I don't particularly like you. I just need you to sign this permission slip."

"Whatever." Pam belches again. She scrawls her name across the permission slip; Sam has already filled it out. "Good fuck, Sams." She shakes her head. "Good luck, Sams."

Sam rolls her eyes and grabs the permission slip. "Thanks for signing this. Good luck to you, Mom."

**SPAM**

Two days later, Spencer is driving himself, Sam, Carly, and Freddie to Las Vegas. When they arrive at a chapel, Spencer parks Socko's RV and the gang heads inside.

They head to the receptionist's desk. The receptionist's name-tag reads Cheryl.

"Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas," Cheryl says. "How may I help you?"

"This beautiful young lady"—Spencer gestures to Sam—"and I want to get married."

"Okay. How old are you?"

"Twenty-nine."

"And you?" Cheryl looks at Sam.

"Sixteen."

"Do you have a permission slip from a parent or legal guardian?"

"Yes." Sam hands it over.

"Okay," Cheryl murmurs, looking at it. "Great. Photo ID?"

Spencer and Sam both produce Washington State ID cards.

"Price is sixty-five dollars. Ma'am, are you taking your husband's name?"

"Yes."

"Sign these forms, and sit down to wait." Cheryl looks at Carly and Freddie. "Are you two getting married as well?"

Spencer shakes his head. "No, they're just here to attend the wedding."

"Okay."

**SPAM**

At nine o'clock on Friday evening, Carly helps Sam get ready for the wedding. Several stores in Las Vegas will loan out clothes for wedding ceremonies, so everyone just borrowed clothes.

Carly helps Sam into her strapless red gown with silver beads on the bust; on Sam's feet are Converse high-tops. Her wavy blonde hair is in a French braid; the veil is attached to a crown on Sam's head. Carly is Sam's bridesmaid; she's wearing a red dress with spaghetti-straps and Converse. Her dark hair is in a fancy ponytail.

"Here Comes The Bride" begins to play. Carly and Sam hug, and grab their bouquets—orange and yellow roses.

Spencer is waiting at the altar with the priest. He's dressed in a green tuxedo. Freddie is his groomsman, and he's wearing a green suit.

Carly and Freddie sit in the front seats and watch as Carly's brother marries their best friend.

The priest begins to perform the ceremony. "We are gathered here in Las Vegas in the presence of these random witnesses"—the priest doesn't know that Carly and Freddie know the bride and groom—"to wed this man and this woman in a speedy wedding. I understand these lovers have written their own vows, so let's proceed. Spencer?"

Spencer smiles at Sam. "Sam, I love you. Not in the way that a husband would traditionally love his wife, but in a friend way. I care about you too much to let you live with a bad parent, so I asked you to become my wife. I know that if anyone ever threatens me, you will take care of it. You're a badass, and you're awesome."

The priest smiles uncertainly. "Okay then. Samantha?"

Sam returns Spencer's smile. "Spencer, I love you. I'm so grateful that you care enough about my bad parental situation to want to marry me. I love you for that. I may not be a faithful wife, but you don't have to be a faithful husband. I'll still love you—regardless of how many affairs you have. You're a rocking artist."

The priest looks really uncertain. "Spencer, repeat after me. I, Spencer Shay, take Samantha Puckett as as my lawfully wedded wife until death shall finally part us."

Spencer repeats it.

The priest turns to Sam. "Samantha, repeat after me. I, Samantha Puckett, take Spencer Shay as my lawfully wedded husband until death shall finally part us."

Sam says the words.

The priest smiles for real now. "Then by the power vested in me by the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Spencer, you may kiss your bride."

Spencer and Sam kiss quickly.

"I present to you for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Spencer Shay!" the priest says.

Carly and Freddie burst out clapping. The chapel workers clap as well, but they look like they don't know what just happened.

**SPAM**

Two months after Spencer's and Sam's wedding, Sam gets an envelope from the Washington State Department Of Licensing. Sam rips open the envelope and pulls out her new ID card. The top of the card says Samantha Shay.

Sam screams so loud that Spencer runs in from the bathroom. "Sam? You okay? What's going on?"

"Mama is a Shay!" Sam yells, waving the ID card in the air. "Whoo! Mama Shay! Sam Shay!

Spencer hugs Sam. "Congratulations."

"Thank you."

**Sorry if characters were OOC; sorry if the plot was weird. I know that what happened to Spencer's & Carly's mom was never specified; instead of saying she died, I said she divorced Steven and left her children alone (sad, but it does happen). Want to reiterate that Spencer and Sam only got married because Sam wanted to become a Shay and move out of her mother's house; they have no romantic feelings whatsoever. Please review.**

**~Vivian Darkbloom 1995**


End file.
